ugh
I make a status asking people if they want to come with me to a street fair in my town tomorrow and everyone who I want to go with just likes it, and the two people I don’t like are the only ones who responded about going with words… I don’t like you guys, I never talk to you but don’t want to delete you and have you message me and text me on why I deleted you non stop. whyyy
- (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
- Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
- (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
- Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
- Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
- Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
- (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
- Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
flower language has always been an intense source of disappointment for me
like, they all mean really generic things like “love” or “forever” or “i’m sorry”
i thought you could combine flowers
like you could just send someone a bouquet and from the combination of hibiscus and posies and tulips they’d understand “the rebel leader is dead, rendezvous at the docks at 8, bring the dog, you will need lighter fluid and a large tomato”
(Source: buddhabrot)





